


Response

by MamzelleHermy



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, SPOILER FOR THE FINALE, post-episode story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24700081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamzelleHermy/pseuds/MamzelleHermy
Summary: SPOILER FOR THE FINALETakes place right at the end of the episode. What could possibly happen now?
Relationships: Malcolm Bright & Ainsley Whitly
Comments: 43
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii,
> 
> So, yes, me again. 
> 
> I needed to write something about the finale. I just had to. It just took me some time because I was still under shock.
> 
> I hope you'll like it!

People  always talk of the  fight or flight  response in front of danger.

In fact, fight and flight weren’t the only two options available. Malcolm had learned that a long time ago. He had learned that fight or flight would be able to save you. They weren’t problematic.

What was problematic, however, was the freeze response. The one that made the deer stop in front of  incoming car lights. The one that made everything stop. The one where your brain just stops answering. That one can be fatal. 

Malcolm knew it.

He had been taught how to avoid it at Quantico.

Ad yet, faced with his own sister sudden and unexpected show of bloody violence, he froze. Completely and utterly. 

His lungs seemed to stop working as his heart missed several heartbeats, his usually overworking mind blank and silent.

He just couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing any more than Ainsley seemed to understand what she had done. 

His phone ringing only barely kickstarted his brain enough to answer it. An automatic answer encrypted in his fingers. Nothing more than muscle memory.

The utter shock of hearing their father’s gleeful voice, however, helped to bring him back to the room.

He stared at his sister’s bloody face, barely listening to what was said. He only knew that Ainsley had followed their father’s suggestion to him.

She had been the one to follow the Surgeon’s footsteps. She had been the one capable to do anything to protect their family. She was the prodigal daughter where he had failed to be the prodigal son. 

Their father’s delighted cry of “My girl” only proved it.

Malcolm shuddered, feeling sick to the stomach.

How had things ended up like this? 

His mind turned back to the previous day, the previous weeks.

When had things changed?

When had Ainsley became capable of butchering a man like that? In cold blood?

Dissociation, his educated mind provided. A slight deviation from the fight response. The thing that happens when fight gets out of hand. 

But was it only that? Or was it more? Was this finally it?

Malcolm (and his mother, even if she hid it well) had always been terrified that he  would, somehow , turn into his father. That, one day, he would start killing people too. 

It wasn’t unheard of in serial  killers' children. Hell, it was even expected of him, given his and doctor  Whitly’s close relationship.

But Ainsley?

She was the shielded one. The normal  Whitly . The one without tens of mental problems. The one without a handful of medication to take only to be able to function semi-normally. The one without restraints bolted to the wall near her bed protect her from herself.

That just wasn’t possible.

“What just happened?”

Ainsley’s thin, shocked voice broke through Malcolm’s inaction. Suddenly everything seemed to resume, world starting to turn again like an elastic slamming back in place. He fought to keep his breathing steady, his shaking hand already a lost cause.

“I’m proud of...”

Malcolm abruptly hang up. 

He couldn’t deal with their father’s happiness that, finally, one of his children following his footsteps.

“We... We have to call the team.” Malcolm said, voice as unsteady as the rest of him. “We...”

“We can’t do that!” Ainsley protested, already regaining colors to Malcolm’s astonishment. “I’d go to prison!”

Malcolm knew this. 

“There’s nothing else we can do Ains’.”

“We could hide the body! No one knew he was here!”

“We don’t know that! And we are not  discussing this.”

Malcolm couldn’t believe that his sister was even suggesting they became more criminals that they already were. 

“Malcolm, please!”

Malcolm shook his head, clenching his rattling fingers into a tight fist.

“You can’t send me to prison!”

His throat tightened. Of course, he couldn’t but there simply was no other choice. Even if he didn’t wear a badge or even work with the NYPD anymore, he still felt law  enforcement .

He couldn’t participate in hiding a body. And certainly not one as high profile as Nicholas Endicott’s.

Not if he ever wanted to be able to look at himself in a mirror.

He unlocked his phone with clammy fingers.

“Please, Malcolm!”

A bloody hand covered his. He repressed a shudder.

“I... I’m sorry Ains...”

Sorry didn’t even start to cover how he felt. He felt sorry for a thousand things. Sorry for not having been strong enough to shoot Endicott himself. Sorry for not protecting her well enough. Sorry for coming back and lightening the idea that she should reunite with their father too. He was still sorry that he hadn’t called the police on the Surgeon sooner.

“It’s... It’s going to be okay.” He tried to reassure. “He was  harassing us. And... And he stabbed Gil... We... We’ll find a way...”

He saw that Ainsley wasn’t even listening to him, her eyes dark with anger and  disappointment . 

He shook his hand away and searched his recent calls for Dani’s name.

“Bright.” She picked up, stress and annoyance coloring her voice. “We didn’t find him! He wasn’t in any of his offices of homes!”

“I...” He cleared his throat, willing his voice steady. He failed. “I know.”

“Malcolm?”

Of course, Dani would hear how distressed he was.

“You’ve got to come to the house and... Bring Edrisa.”

“What?” He voice was astonished but he couldn’t get himself to explain more on the phone.

“Just... Do it Dani. Please...”

A couple of seconds passed in heavy silence. 

“Okay. We’ll be here in twenty.”

“Thank you.”

The call disconnected and Malcolm focused back on his sister. She had gone to fill herself a glass of alcohol, sitting defeated and smearing blood on one of their far too expensive chairs.

He didn’t know what to say to her. 

He let himself fall down on their sofa, watching his hands shake, mind empty.

Twenty minutes felt  simultaneously like twenty hours and twenty seconds. Twenty hours of resentful heavy silence but not enough time to prepare himself for what would happen after he opened the door.

* * *

The doorbell ringing almost stopped his heart and he had to try twice before he was able to push himself up.

Ainsley didn’t react. She hadn’t moved a finger since finishing her drink. He didn’t know if it was out of shock or despair.

He just couldn’t read her anymore.

He closed his eyes when he reached the door, counting to ten before opening it. A motion that would, once again, destroy his family.

JT and Dani were both waiting on the other side, expression closed off.

Malcolm  didn't know where to start so he stepped back and lead them to the living room. Dani’s gasp pierced his soul but he didn’t dare to look back at her.

“What the hell man?”

Now JT’s reaction he expected. It didn’t help.

For a long time, all three didn’t move or talk. Dani and JT obviously not knowing how to react and Malcolm not knowing where to start or even if he should say anything without a lawyer. His mother would probably kill him if he said anything that would put Ainsley further in jeopardy. 

Not that she might not already kill him.

“I think that’s the moment you take us in.” He said quietly, not looking at his former partners.

“Bright...”

“It’s okay Dani.”

Even he didn’t believe himself but he hoped that at least it helped her.

He had resented her not trusting him when he said he didn’t kill Eddie but now, it just seemed like the least of his feelings. He knew that she was just doing her job and he understood that. 

And that’s how, for the second time in three days, he listened to his rights recited to him, JT and Dani’s voice echoing each other from one side of the room to the other. He put his shaking hands behind his back and felt Dani put cuffs on him, again, before calling for units to take them in.

He felt Dani’s confused, worried eyes on him but ignored her. He just stared at Endicott’s mangled body as they waited, already knowing it would never leave his mind now.

It took only five minutes for officers to arrive and neither he or Ainsley fought when they led them to the front door. It had only opened a couple of inches before flashes started. Malcolm understood that five minutes had been enough for journalists to arrive like vultures attracted by a dead body. 

He stopped, wishing he had any way to shield Ainsley. He could already see the headline her bloody face would make. 

The officer behind pushed on his hands and he was forced to take a step forward and then another, anxious bands forming around his chest as he stepped down his house’s stairs, head bowed down.

Why did they have to be there? 

Why did they have to witness another  Whitly disaster?

“Make way!” The officer cried out, forcibly quickening Malcolm’s unsteady path until they reached a police car. He opened the door and pushed his charge in.

Malcolm kept his head bowed and counted his breaths, hoping it would be enough to quell the panic attack brewing in his veins.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is second chapter! Hope you'll still like it!
> 
> And thank you so much for the Kudos and comments!

Malcolm stared at his shaking hands, cuffed to the table in front of him. 

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting in the interrogation room but he was grateful not having been put into a holding cell. It was hard enough to ward of a panic attack by yourself. He wasn’t sure how he would have dealt with bars in front of him.

In an interrogation room, at least, he didn’t have to think about inmates or judging gazes of officers bringing other suspects in. 

He already had to face that when they had arrived and it had been difficult enough.

He knew that they already thought him guilty. 

He knew that part of them had always expected to see him on that side of the table with cuffs around his wrists.

It wouldn’t matter if he was innocent or not.

He  realized that his  career with the NYPD was over, no matter what happened next.

He wondered if he should accuse himself of Endicott’s murder too. 

It could be the only way to protect Ainsley and at least give her a chance at getting her life back.

He let his head fall on the table. He didn’t know what to do.

He simply didn’t know.

* * *

Some eternity later, an officer came in to place a bottle of water in front of him. Malcolm didn’t reach for it but he looked up in time to catch sight of one of the clocks in the precinct.

It was 7:30 AM.

The whole night had passed without him noticing.

He wondered if Dani and JT had gone home to rest for a couple of hours or if they were still at his house, processing the newest crime scene there, trying to understand what had happened.

Would they automatically assume he killed Endicott? Like they did with Eddie?

Once again, the thought of giving himself up circled back  in his mind.

He supposed it would be easy enough for him to be sent into a mental hospital instead of jail given his medical record.

He probably could deal with that.

Probably.

Better than Ainsley with prison anyway.

His mind provided him with an image of his sophisticated sister in an orange suit.

He shuddered, forcing a deep breathe in his lungs.

His growing panic was interrupted by the door opening again. He watched as his two former colleagues sat down in front of him, expression closed and weary.

Obviously, they hadn’t gone home and rested. 

“I killed Endicott.” Malcolm blurted out before he could talk himself out of it. It was the right thing to do.

“Bright...” Dani started.

“It’s true. It was me.” He cut in, not looking at her, praying that they would believe him, praying that, for once, they wouldn’t be as good detectives as they normally were.

He saw Dani and JT exchange a pitying glance, making anger flare in his chest. He didn’t want their pity. He wanted them to listen to him.

JT shook his head, eyes closing with obvious exhaustion.

“Man, we know that’s a lie. Edrisa and her team analyzed the scene. They fast-tracked the prints analysis. We know there are only your sister’s on it.”

Malcolm clenched his hands. He should have thought of that. They should have at least  wiped the murder weapon.

But, in his hearts of heart, he knew he wouldn’t have accepted to do that. Just like he hadn’t accepted to not call his team.

“What really happened Bright?” Dani asked after a moment of silence.

He shook his head. He wanted to answer. He wanted to somehow salvage his relationship with his colleagues by being honest. But he couldn’t think of his own well-being. He had to think of protecting his sister. He couldn’t risk saying anything that would harm whatever defense she would adopt.

“I... I’m sorry. I can’t.. .”

Neither Dani or JT looked surprised of his lack of answer even if they couldn’t quite hide their  disappointment .

“What’s going to happen now?” He asked.

“Well... We’re waiting for Ainsley’s lawyers but there is enough evidence that she will probably be taken in. However, I suppose they will release her on bail too.” JT explained, sorry expression still on his face. “As for you, we’re waiting for the higher ups decision. But you did flee...”

Malcolm nodded slowly, shoulders sagging.

He had almost forgotten that he was still very much in very deep trouble himself.

“We’re doing everything we can to prove Endicott framed you.” Dani added, looking pained.

“It’s okay. I get it.” He knew chances were slim that they would manage it. And certainly not before a very long time.

Silence fell as all three thought about everything that happened, wondering how thing could ever go back to how they were.

Malcolm knew they wouldn’t. He supposed the other two knew too.

The silence was interrupted by a knock at the door. An officer’s head appeared.

“Sorry to interrupt Detectives. I have a woman here. She says she’s here to confess a murder.”

Malcolm’s breathe froze. 

No that couldn’t be happening. 

He told her to run. Told her he wouldn’t tell anyone what she did.

She had earned the right to  being free.

“We’ll be right with you.” Dani said, already getting up.

“Wait! You can’t listen to her!” Malcolm cried out, his tremors acting up worst then before.

Again, JT and Dani exchanged a look but at least this time it was more confusion than anything else.

“Bright we don’t even know what this is about...”

“I do and I’m telling you. You can’t listen to her. She doesn’t deserve this. Please...”

“Sorry man. We’ll come back later.”

And with that the profiler was once again left alone. Knowing he had failed, again, to protect another victim of his father.

Anger and shame filled and he wished he had anything he could throw and brake but his cuffed hands prevented such extreme movements.

He let his head bang on the table and waited, hating how out of control his life had become.

* * *

In the meantime, JT and Dani followed the officer to find a brown woman sitting in the conference room. She looked perfectly at ease. She wasn’t fidgeting like they were expecting from someone about to confess a crime. She got up when they entered the room and presented themselves.

“Before we start, we have to remind you that you have the right to an  attorney and that everything you say could be held against you.” Dani explained, wanting to be sure to do everything by the book. They would be under enough scrutiny as things were.

“Thank you, I know, your colleague already read me my rights. I’m well aware of them. I’m here because I’m the one who killed Eddie.”

Both detectives stared at her.

“My name is Sophie Sanders and I’m...”

“Eve’s sister. The girl in the box.” Dani breathed making JT turn sharply towards her. She suddenly understood why Malcolm wanted to stop them. He had known. She didn’t know how but he had. And he wanted to protect her. To serve what he thought was his penance for what happened when he was only a child.

“How do you...?” She seemed surprised for a moment but shook her head, getting back on track. “When I learned what had happened to her... I knew I couldn’t just let it pass. She didn’t deserve to die just because she had found me. It wasn’t fair.”

“Why did you come here to confess?” JT asked.

She sighed, shaking her head slowly.

“Malcolm  Whitly came to find me. He said he had been arrested for the murder. He told me he wouldn’t tell anyone what I did. And I believed him. But when I heard Endicott had died... I just knew I couldn’t let him take the fall for me. Without Endicott’s confession, you wouldn’t be able to prove anything. But... I do have information on him and on some of his... Meddling... That could help. I can’t just sit back and ignore the world anymore.”

Dani let out a near silent sight of relief. Now they could finally innocent Bright. And it looked like they had a good shot at taking down Endicott’s criminal  enterprise . It wasn’t ideal and there certainly was a ton of other issues (none as little as Ainsley  Whitly butchering said criminal mastermind) but it was a step in the right direction.

She just hoped that Malcolm would see it that way too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?
> 
> And stay safe!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again for chapter 3!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's reading, and commenting and kudoting! 
> 
> I love you all!

Malcolm didn’t move as he heard the door again, listening to what could only be Dani’s footsteps.

He felt her cold fingers on his wrists as she opened the cuffs.

“You found her.” She said, not needing to explain further.

He didn’t answer but pushed himself up crossing his arms against his chest, looking anywhere but in Dani’s direction.

“She doesn’t deserve to go to prison.” He said after a time.

Dani sighed, shaking her head.

“Neither do you. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think she’ll go. She’s got information on Endicott. I’m sure the DA would be open to negotiation...”

“She had made a life.” Malcolm carried on as if she hadn’t spoken. “She got a degree. Became a vet. She had a good life until I came barging in... I should never have looked for her. We should never have looked for her.”

From the corner of his eye he saw Eve hover near the double-way mirror, staring at him reproachfully.

He closed his eyes.

“Malcolm...”

“No. I’m...”  He interrupted himself. Even he couldn’t convince himself that h e was fine. He just didn’t want to hear what Dani wanted to say.

He didn’t want her kindness or her pity.

“Can I get my phone back? I have to call my mother.”

Not that he wanted to. He would prefer breaking his own hand again. But he knew he had to.

He had to take his own  responsibilities .

Dani looked like she wanted to add something. Then nodded.

“Of course.”

She left the room and came back only a couple of minutes later, baring Malcolm’s belongings. He didn’t say anything as he pocketed his wallet, watch and phone before heading to the door.

“Bright...”

He shook his head and left.

Another thing to feel guilty for.

He kept his eyes to the floor as he crossed the room ignoring the stares and whispers. He was used to them.

He let out a deep  breath as he finally walked out of the precinct, surprised to find himself in a sunny street.

Somehow, he had expected the world to be dark and scary, like his mind. But no, the sun was shining, as if the sky didn’t care that his life was in tatters in front of him. 

Finally, he dared to look at his phone. 

He was greeted by twenty missed calls from his mother and as many voicemails.

Reluctantly he clicked on her name and lifted the device to his ear.

It took only one ringtone before she picked up.

“Malcolm darling! I swear between you and your sister one would think that you don’t know how to use your phones! I’ve been trying to reach the both of you all night! Where were you?”

He closed his eyes, fighting the tears that wanted to well in his eyes. N ow was not the time.

“Mother...” His throat tightened, stopping him from continuing. 

“What happened?”

And there was his mother, no beating around the bush with her. It took a few tries before he managed to speak.

“ Ains .... Ainsley’s been arrested...”

“What? That’s ridiculous now!”

“She... She killed Endicott.”

The silence was so total that Malcolm had to resist the urge to check if they had not been disconnected.

“What did you say?” 

His mother’s voice was cold and hard. It felt like it was stabbing right in his chest.

“I... I couldn’t do anything to stop her... I... I hadn’t seen...”

“No.”

“Mother...”

“Where is she?”

“The.... The precinct... I... I called Dani and JT.”

The only answer he received was his mother hanging up on him. He let himself fall on the ground, breathless, the last of his energy spent. 

“Sir! Are you okay?”

He looked up to find a young girl in jogging clothes crouched over him and realized he was sitting almost in the middle of the sidewalk.

He nodded shakily and forced himself up shaking legs.

“Yes, yes. Thank you.”

His rasping voice wasn’t very convincing.

“Are you sure I don’t need to call an ambulance? You don’t look that good...”

Malcolm almost laughed out loud. Not that good wasn’t even close to how bad he felt.

“I’m fine.”

She still didn’t  look convinced but shrugged.

“If you’re sure.”

She turned and jogged away.

Malcolm stared after her. He didn’t know what to do. He was exhausted,  mentally and physically but he didn’t want to rest. He knew what would happen, what he would see, the second he would close his eyes.

With a sigh, he started walking. He couldn’t just stand there doing nothing.

And yet, he didn’t know what he could do.

There was nothing he could do for Ainsley.

Or for Sophie.

He didn’t think he ever felt so useless in his life.

* * *

Without quite realizing it, he noticed that he had been making his way towards the hospital where Gil was. And he knew that it was the only place he wanted to be.

He realized that he hadn’t even asked Dani if she had any news about his state.

Guilt  flowed him again and he started to walk faster. It should have been the first question he asked.

What if Gil had died during the night and he hadn’t even asked?

No. He would have known. Dani and JT would have told him.

Except if they didn’t know.

He had prevented them to stay at Gil’s side at the hospital.

He was almost running by the time the hospital was in sight and he didn’t waste time to wait for an elevator to take him up to Gil’s room.

He was out of breath when he arrived in the ward where they had been waiting before all went to hell.

He approached the nurse sitting at the front desk.

“I’m looking for Gil Arroyo’s room.”

The man in scrubs looked up at him, eyebrow raised at his state.

“And you are?”

“I’m his son.” 

It was only half a lie. 

It took another couple of  minutes of suspicious looks before the man decided that Malcolm was honest. 

“He is in room 305 at the end of the corridor.”

Malcolm opened his mouth to ask how he was but couldn’t find his voice so he just nodded his thanks and turned to follow the directions given to him.

Now that he was only a few meters away from Gil, his fear was only more intense and he found himself walking slowly. 

The shock of seeing the man with a tube down his throat almost brought him to his knees and he stumbled to the chair next the bed, falling into it, shaking and feeling like he couldn’t get any oxygen in his lungs.

Hesitantly, he reached out and put his hand on his oldest friend’s ones and was terrified to feel how cold it was.

Usually Gil always had warm hands. That he had always used to calm Malcolm down.

He could still feel the phantom touch at the back of his neck.

How he wished Gil would wake up and comfort him.

He needed it.

“You’ve got to be okay, Gil.” He pleaded, voice chocked as tears started to fall down his cheeks. “Please Gil. You’ve got to. I... I can’t do this without you too.”

He let himself sob, hiding his face in the  mattress , squeezing Gil’s arm for dear life.

He felt like a lost boy  again but this time there wouldn’t be a kind policeman to save him.

No, this time, he got said policeman hurt instead of saving  him .

Once again, he thought he should never have gone after the Girl in the Box. 

He should have let his past where it was, hiding in the shadows haunting him.

Then Eve would never had died, her sister would still have her life, his own sister wouldn’t go to jail and Gil wouldn’t be possibly dying.

* * *

A curse made him jump. He looked up to see a young short woman with her hair in a high ponytail and a white coat enter the room. She was flushed and it was obvious she had just hit the corner of the door.

“Oh! Hello! Sorry, I’m so clumsy sometimes! Not when it matters, thought!” She quickly said with a bashful smile and Malcolm was reminded of Edrisa. “I’m Doctor Steward. I’m in charge of this ward today.”

“Hi...” Malcolm answered, voice rough from exhaustion and tears. He cleared his throat. “How...?”

He couldn’t quite finish his sentence.

“How is he?” The Doctor completed with a kind smile. She approached the bed. “I’d say he is as good as can be expected after being stabbed.”

Malcolm flinched. He remembered vividly how that felt.

“I’m sorry. Are you  family ?”

Malcolm nodded.

“He lost a load of blood but we  transfused him and the surgeons managed to  repair the damages done by the blade easily enough. The main concern is infection right now but we are flooding his body with antibiotics and closely monitoring him.”

Again, Malcolm could only nod. He already knew that. His father had made sure to share that kind of knowledge with him.

“When will he wake up?” He finally asked as he watched the doctor check various settings and displays.

“We prefer to keep him sedated for the moment, just to avoid any complications. But if everything goes well, we should start lifting sedation tomorrow.” She hesitated for a moment, watching over Malcolm, probably noticing his distraught appearance. “Try not to worry too much, I’m quite confident he will make a full recovery. Thankfully he was brought to us very quickly.”

The profiler nodded. 

His mother had saved Gil. Ainsley had saved him and their  family .

He had just let them all down.

“Thank you.” He managed to say just as the doctor was leaving.

“You’re welcome.”

And with that he was alone, staring at Gil’s sleeping face.

“Please. Be okay.” He repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> Don't hesitate to comment!
> 
> And be safe!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii!
> 
> I know I am a bit late. Does it help if I say I was busy with chapter 5?
> 
> Anyway this chapter went away from me XD
> 
> I hope you'll like it!

“How are things Detective Powell?”

The question made Dani jump and she hurriedly straightened her back, barely resisting the urge to salute. It was not often she was being addressed directly by her boss’ boss.

The question in itself has a thousand different answers and not all of them were good.

She was at a loss of how to answer.

Sensing her confusion, the man gestured towards the glass window next to them. She turns back towards it to watch Sophie and her lawyer talk to each other, heads bowed.

“The DA is coming up with a deal. From what I got she managed to get a lot of proof of Endicott’s various interventions. They are twenty years old but we suppose it might be a good start to  unravel all that followed.”

The man hummed thoughtfully. The tension lines on his face told Dani he was feeling the pressure of discovering such a deep-rooted corruption as much as them. If not worst.

Dani didn’t even want to think about what will happen once the news goes out that DNA identifications could have been manipulated.

It could invalidate hundred if not thousands of cases. 

“ So Mr. Bright really was innocent.” The man next to her commented after a beat.

Dani nodded and he sighed, rubbing his graying beard.

“We should have trusted Lieutenant Arroyo’s opinion...”

He seemed  genuinely sorry and Dani could only share the feeling.

As much as one could understand a superior distrusting Malcolm given his record, reputation and general attitude, she really shouldn’t have.

She had been working with him long enough to know that beneath the manic  behavior there was not a mean bone in his body.

Sure, she thought he could defend himself if need arose (and if he was in the mood for it, most of the time when someone else was in danger) but he would never purposely hurt, less kill anyone.

She should have known that.

She should have trusted him.

As a colleague, but also as a friend.

“I guess we all failed him.” She whispered quietly.

The man nodded and for a moment they were silent.

“And what about the other Whitly?”

Dani sighed deeply. JT and her had decided to split the workload. She had interviewed Sophie, he took care of Ainsley.

In a way, Dani was relieved about it. She didn’t want to think of the journalist turned murderer.

“From what Detective  Tarmel told me, she lawyered up and refused to talk. Evidence is clear thought. She should be processed later but we expect her to make bail.”

“That’s one hell of a mess.”

Dani thought it was the  understatement of the year but agreed.

“But you and detective  Tarmel are handling things well. Especially given the circumstances. Finish things up and then go get some rest.  Nothing more will happen before everyone finished consulting their lawyers and negotiating.”

She appreciated the compliment even if she felt they didn’t really deserve praises. They had let one of their own down, letting him be wrongfully accused of murder. And they had let Gil deal alone with Endicott, getting stabbed for his trouble and relying on a civilian to save him.

“Thank  you, Sir .” She answered nonetheless.

He seemed satisfied with himself and turned back, leaving Dani once more alone with her thoughts, guilt and worry warring inside her heart now that the urgency of action was passed.

She rubbed her eyes, feeling the sleepless night pull on her.

“Coffee?”

She looked up to find JT already extending a cup of steaming liquid to her.

“Thanks.”

“Was that the  commissioner I saw?”

“Yes. I think he wanted to make sure we were not making things  worse than they already are. He seemed satisfied thought. Even congratulated us.”

She hid her grimace with a mouthful of burnt coffee as JT snorted. She supposed that, like her, he didn’t think they deserved praises.

Silence fell as they both drank their coffee.

Dani liked that they  both didn’t feel the need to fill it. She felt exhausted. Stretched thin with anxiety and guilt.

The door to the conference room opened to let Sophie’s lawyer out. Dani straightened again.

“I think that’s all for us. We’ll wait on your side.”

“Very well. It could take some time. In the meantime, miss Sanders will be placed in one of our holding cells for the night.”

The man nodded. 

“We’ll see each other tomorrow then Detective.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Dani instructed one of the Officers to escort Sophie to the cells and watched them leave.

“Do you really think he would have taken the fall for her?” JT asked after some time, finishing the last of his coffee.

“For Sophie? Or for Ainsley?”

The older Detective shrugged.

“Yes. I think so. For both of them. Malcolm doesn’t quite value his own life enough.”

“Yeah.” JT agreed, looking amazed at such unselfishness. 

Dani thought Malcolm would have been happy to have impressed JT.

“Are you going home then?”

Dani looked at the clock on the wall nearby. It was only 4:30PM. Far too early for her to even consider leaving on any normal day.

They  were far past any kind of normal.

And there was really nothing much else she could do.

“I think I’ll go visit Gil. You?”

“Tally will get my head if I don’t go back to her as soon as I can... Those pregnancy hormones will be the death of me...”

Dani laughed despite herself. JT’s  scowl deepened and he crossed his arms.

It only made Dani smile more. It was good to remember that soon they would welcome a mini-JT in the world.

“Tell her to go easy on you from me.”

“Not sure it will work but I’ll try that. See you tomorrow Powell.”

Dani waved him off and went to her desk to pick up her jacket and bag, eyes falling on the unoccupied desk behind her that Malcolm would sometimes occupy.

She wished she could have told him how sorry she was.

Sorry that she hadn’t believed him.

That she hadn’t trusted him.

That she had been such a dreadful friend.

* * *

As she walked to her car, she debated stopping at Malcolm’s loft but she didn’t want to risk imposing herself. He had every right to be angry at her. She should let him be for some time.

The drive to the hospital was thankfully quick and, soon, she found herself asking for Gil’s room number at the front desk.

She followed the directions given to her and ended up in front of a half-closed door.

She hesitated for a moment. She knew that if visits were allowed it meant that Gil wasn’t in too bad shape but still. He was her mentor and her friend. Not just her boss.

He had accepted her despite her being an  addict, had trusted her to join his team.

She wouldn’t be able to deal with him not being okay. He was the one holding her, them, together.

She forced a deep, calming breathe in her lungs.

_ He will be fine _ , she told herself firmly.

Finally feeling ready, she pushed the door open. Only to stop short again.

Malcolm was there, perched on the very edge of a  visitor chair, shaking hands clasped firmly around Gil’s left one.

He hadn’t even reacted to her entrance,  obviously lost in his mind. A place where she knew he shouldn’t be left too long in.

“Bright?” She called out, talking a few steps in the room, eyes quickly moving to Gil’s slowly rising chest as a ventilator breathed for him.

She focused back on their profiler. He still hadn’t moved. She approached him slowly, wondering if maybe he was just sleeping upright. It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen.

But no, his  eyes were open but glassy.

“Bright?” She repeated, shaking his shoulder, feeling the tense muscle vibrate under her hand.

He jumped, almost falling down,  gaze running over Gil before turning to the standing woman.

“Dani?”

His voice was rough and she had to suppress her wince. He wouldn’t appreciate her pity, even if it wasn’t that but just shared pain and fear.

“How’s Gil?” She asked, giving him the opportunity to deflect for a bit.

He seemed relieved at it, turning back to their friend.

“The doctor said he’s good. If no infection occurs during the  night they’ll get him off sedation tomorrow.”

Dani let out a  breath . That was at least one less concern. She knew that Gil was strong and if he wasn’t in ICU it meant the risk of infection was considered low.

Now she had someone else she should be taking care of.

She let herself rest a hip on Gil’s high hospital bed, observing Malcolm.

Exhausted didn’t even seem to apply to him anymore. He was almost deathly pale and the usual bags under his eyes had taken epic proportions. 

And that was without even  mentioning the tremors that seemed to have spread from his hand to his whole body.

Dani thought darkly that he had looked better when they had found him with a stab wound, a broken hand and an equally broken mind.

And that had been bad.

“And how are you?”

It was a stupid question. She knew it but she was tired and couldn’t think of anything else to cut the heavy silence.

“I’m fine.”

She thought that he didn’t even tried to look like he thought his lie would work.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten? Or slept?”

He let out a half-hysterical small laugh.

“You know both are overrated. Especially for me.”

Dani  shook her head. She knew that. It didn’t mean she would let him go so easily.

He looked ready to fall down at any moment and she had already failed him once. She was not about to make that mistake again.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home. I’ll make you grilled cheese you’ll nimble on and then you’ll pretend to try to sleep.”

He shook his head, grip tightening on Gil’s hand.

“There really is no need. I’m fine where I am.”

Of course, she hadn’t expected him to accept. However, he had underestimated her conviction.

“You said it yourself, he’ll sleep until at least tomorrow. And you know he would want you to take care of yourself. Or at least to listen to me.”

She tried for some levity but was heartbroken to see Malcolm’s eyes fill with tears instead.

She couldn’t recall ever seeing him so... Broken.

There were just no other words. And yet it didn’t seem strong enough.

She had seen the cracks in him. During their first case, after Watkins, after his father’s stabbing, after Eve’s death...

But that was something else. 

It was hopelessness and fear and mental and physical exhaustion all bundled in one to form a darkness so deep it felt like no light could ever reach it.

Dani was no stranger to darkness herself but she had never seen anything like this.

She did the only thing she could think of and pulled him in a tight hug.

She wished it could be enough to keep the pieces of him together.

She knew it probably wouldn’t but she prayed it could just help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Than you for reading!!!!!
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment, I always love them!
> 
> Take care of yourselved!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Sooo, here is Chapter 5! I had expected to post it earlier but a cold caught me unaware and I spent the week end being my anxious self. 
> 
> But anyway, I'm (almost) back to normal now so, here it is! I hope you'll like it *fingers crossed*
> 
> Again take care of yourselves!

Breaking apart in front of Dani was not how Malcolm expected his day to go.

Not that he really expected anything anymore.

He had just hoped he would have been able to quietly sit at Gil’s bedside until the man himself told him everything would be fine.

Not that Malcolm would have believed him.

But maybe it would have been just about enough to keep the darkness and despair threatening his mind at bay for another day.

But, of course, he wasn’t lucky enough to be left to his own devices for long.

_ At least, it wasn’t your mother _ , his  treasonous mind provided.

And, indeed, he had been quite relieved to see Dani’s soft gaze and not his mother’s hard stare. He wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t try to kill him for failing to protect his sister. He knew that at the very least, he would get a firm slap. 

Not that he didn’t deserve it. He completely did.

But Dani’s kindness and worry? Her willingness to take care of him? That he didn’t deserve. At all.

He had expected her to worry about Gil. And she did. But she definitely looked more concerned about him.

And that made absolutely no sense.

Not only because only a couple of days ago she hadn’t looked all that concerned about him facing prison or trying to defend him. But also because Gil was a hundred times more important than him.

Maybe that was what made him fall apart. 

Despite how much he didn’t deserve any kindness, Dani was still there, reminding him that Gil would be there if only he could.

He shook even harder clinging to Dani’s familiar leather jacket like a lifeline.

He expected her to let go quickly but she just squeezed him harder. As if she wanted to keep his literally shaking self together.

He wondered what he had done to deserve someone like Dani in his life.

Yes, she had doubted him. And  it had hurt. A lot.

But she still came back and cared about him and his wellbeing.

He had hurt her too, pushed her away, more than once, been insensitive and yet she was still comforting him.

She had seen all the darkness and weirdness in his life and she was still hugging him.

He was quite sure he didn’t deserve her. But he needed her.

So very much.

He needed her to remind him that someone cared about him.

Not about how he failed his family.

Not about how he could be useful.

But about how he felt.

* * *

He didn’t know how long Dani let him cling to her but he knew it was far past too long.

Self-consciously, he pulled  back , keeping his eyes down and hastily putting his hand in his pockets to mask the tremors.

“I’m sorry Dani, I...”

“It’s okay Malcolm.” She interrupted and the use of his first name quieted the rising dark voice that was telling him she was just  pitying him . “But I still think we should get out of here. You need food and rest and, to be honest, me too.”

Malcolm was suddenly reminded that she had to work through the night to clean another  Whitly -born mess. One that he was more than responsible for. He and his stupid obsession.

“I’m sorry. Yes. You should go home.” He faltered a bit under her raised eyebrow. “I’ll... I’ll call an Uber.”

His lie was lame and  transparent . He knew it. But even on a good day he wasn’t a great  liar (except when it came to talking down criminals) and today was definitely anything but good.

“Take your stuff. I’ll drive you.”

“It’s really not...”

Dani put her hands on her hips in with that no-nonsense cop look on her face and he interrupted himself. He knew there would be no further  negotiation . He sighed and pushed himself up, only slightly wobbling.

He looked back down at Gil’s unconscious form, gut twisting with worry.

What if something happened while he wasn’t there?

What if he... Died... Alone?

He would never forgive himself. He should stay.

Dani seemed to sense his trepidation because she put a hand on his arm, squeezing softly.

“He will be fine.” She said and her conviction helped  appease some of his fears. A bit.

Enough to make him nod.

They exited the room in silence and Malcolm stopped at the nurse’s desk to give his phone number in case anything happened. And he insisted on anything. Whatever the time. Day or night. He knew from the pinching between the nurse’s eyes that he was annoying her but he didn’t care. He needed to make sure she understood. 

He would have insisted again had Dani not stopped him. She smiled at the nurse to balance his relative snappish attitude.

“Sorry about him. You know how sons get with their fathers.”

“Of course. We will keep you updated.”

Malcolm’s mouth was still  dropped open as Dani pulled him away.

He had used the same lie to get information on Gil’s health. But hearing someone else say it... It just made it more... Real. Less of a lie and more of a reality.

He followed her in a haze and quickly found himself sitting in Dani’s car. She cracked on the heat and Malcolm let his mind wander as she silently  navigated New York’s emptying streets.

He observed the people on the walkways, trying to imagine what had led them to where they were. Where they getting out of work? Going there? Or meeting with friends? Going on a first date?

He had always done that, especially after his father’s arrest. He would wonder what it was like to have a normal life.

A life where you woke up from a deep, peaceful sleep to go to work before getting out with friends in bars or restaurants.

He never had that. Not even when he was in the FBI.

Being the son of a serial killer with complex PTSD and various food issues would do that to you.

He hadn’t realized they had arrived until Dani shook his shoulder.

“Sorry. I was...  Daydreaming .”

She rose a skeptical eyebrow at him but shrugged and turned to open her door.

“Well come on.” She said as he just stared dumbly at her. “Dinner won’t cook itself.”

She closed the door and he scrambled to get out of his,  almost falling out ungracefully.

“You really, really don’t have to cook me anything.”

He tried, almost running after her as she was already half-way  to his building.

“I know that. But I want to. And your kitchen is way fancier than mine, obviously.”

Still he  stared at her, brain still unable to process what was happening. Dani gestured expectantly at the door. 

“Right.” Malcolm mumbled struggling with his shaking hands to find the right kay.

Entering his flat after being convinced he would never set foot inside again almost sent Malcolm crumbling again. Especially as Sunshine’s happy shrills greeted them.

“Hey  girl. “ He said, his voice chocked. 

He went to her cage and opened the door, letting her jump on his finger, gently picking the digit.

“Missed you too Sunshine.”

He jumped at the rattling sound of his kitchen drawers. He had momentarily forgotten about Dani being with him. The sudden movement had scared the bird away and he watched her fly for a moment, knowing he would let her be for some time. She deserved the freedom.

He approached his bar and watched as Dani opened drawers and cupboards until she found what she was looking for.

“For someone who eats as little as you do, you really are far over- equipped .” She commented, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

Malcolm appreciated the effort and forced a small smile. He couldn’t swear it didn’t look like a grimace but he tried. He was at a loss for what he should be doing. Dani didn’t look like she needed his help and Sunshine  was still flying somewhere.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll have dinner ready when you get out.”

The dark voice in his head told him that Dani must get tired of his awkward hovering. He nodded and went to his bathroom. Methodically, he ignored his reflection in the mirror and undressed, waiting for the water to be scalding hot before entering the shower.

He walked right under the spray and closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. He wished he could stop thinking.

Of course, it was a lost cause as his brain kept replaying the past weeks’ events, new feature in the movie theatre of his mind.

Eve leaving him to find her sister with barely a second thought.

Her body on Edrisa’s table, cold and pale yet still beautiful, condemned to forever haunt him.

Then Eddie, his father attacking him like the feral monster Malcolm always feared he was.

Being arrested by his own friends as they thought he had become the monster everyone had warned them he would become.

Fleeing and finding Sophie, the Girl in the Box in the flesh, alive and happy.

Getting that call telling him Gil had been stabbed by Nicholas Endicott, that his own mother had taken him in the hospital. That his older friend and father-figure could die.

And his own sister, knife in hand as he was too weak to pull the trigger on the  evilest man he had ever encountered...

A loud knock jerked him out of his thoughts and he  realized the water had  turned lukewarm .

“Bright? You okay in there?”

He had to clear his throat twice before he could answer Dani.

“Yeah. I’ll... I’ll be out in a minute.”

“No problem, take your time.”

With a deep sigh, he closed the water and dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt that had been lying around, not caring that he looked nothing like his usual self. That boat had sailed a very  long time ago.

He went back in the main room and was surprised to find the kitchen empty and clean with dishes drying next to the sink.

He turned and found Dani sitting  cross-legged on his sofa, looking like she belonged there. The thought made him frown.

“I hope you don’t mind.” She gestured at her position and the shoes she had obviously just kicked off to fall where they wanted.

Malcolm was even more shocked to see Sunshine perched on Dani’s left knee, observing the woman. She usually wasn’t that keen on other people and  preferred to stay clear of them.

“No. No, of course not.”

She smiled at him and reached for the side table, careful not to dislodge his bird that seemed to have decided that Dani was the perfect playing ground to jump around.

“Eat.” She ordered, shoving the plate in his hands. 

It was  piled high with tiny sandwiches made with ingredients he didn’t even know he had.

“You sure nothing you used was expired?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Alright.”

He chose one of the smallest one and took a bite. He really couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten and with that one bite he suddenly realized he was starving. Without even  noticing he had soon eaten half the plate.

“That was really delicious. Thank  you, Dani .”

She smiled at him, blushing a bit.

“You’re welcome.”

She starting eating the rest of the sandwiches and he realized that she had been waiting for him to finish to make sure he ate. 

He didn’t think anyone had ever been so thoughtful for him. It left him speechless.

For a long time after that, they stay sited in silence, Dani eating and Malcolm observing her. Again and again wondering what he had done to deserve her friendship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was that? Any comment is a good comment :)!
> 
> Chapter 6 is not yet written and I wonder if it's even useful... But anyway! One will see what happens!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy!
> 
> Me again! Sorry for the lateness! 
> 
> I hope you will like the chapter!
> 
> Enjoy, and stay safe!

Dani struggled not to fidget under Malcolm’s gaze. He looked lost in thoughts but his eyes were fixed on her so she couldn’t rule out that he was somehow profiling her.

He knew that she hated it but she also knew it was hard for him to cut off that part of his brain.

She focused on eating, laughing as Sunshine jumped around her legs and chest to catch falling breadcrumbs, her tiny talons slightly nipping her skin.

“Should she eat that?” Dani asked after the bird almost crashed on her chest in her eagerness.

She had never thought about what pet parakeets ate. In fact, before Malcolm she had never really thought that birds could be considered as pets. But Sunshine was clearly as affectionate as any other pet.

Malcolm let out a small, loving smile, eyes falling on his pet.

“Well, she’s not supposed to eat too much bread.” His tone was almost scolding, as if he thought the bird would understand him. “But I’ve not been very kind to her either the past days so I guess she deserves it.”

His eyes turned grey with sadness and Dani looked for something to say to comfort him but was beaten by Sunshine who flew from her chest to his shoulder, picking at his still humid hair.

“Strangely, I think she has forgiven you.”

Malcolm hummed, raising his hand to lightly pet the bird’s head. It felt oddly personal for Dani to witness this moment. 

She didn’t see often this side of Malcolm, the gentle, caring one. 

Silence fell again, only disturbed by quiet bird chirps.

After all the drama and the anxiety still drumming in her veins, it was the kind of peace Dani needed and she relaxed in the comfortable sofa. She watched as Malcolm’s exhaustion seemed to pull on him too, now that she had gotten him to sit down and eat.

In fact, he was more slouching than sitting and she could see from his blinking that he was fighting sleep.

And it was a  losing battle.

She straightened her back.

“Come on. I think it’s high time for you to go to bed.”

His raised eyebrow and small snigger warmed her cheeks but were also the most normal Malcolm thing she had seen in a very long time. She fought her smile.

“Don’t get ideas, or I might punch you in the face again.”

“Is that a proposition? Because I am quite tempted to accept.”

Dani knew a deflection when she heard one. She knew what he was doing and why. She was not, however, about to indulge him. He needed sleep, even if he would claim that it was overrated and that he could function perfectly well with a couple hours of it every couple of days.

She wished there was anything she could do.

Anything that wouldn’t involve her fists and boxing experience.

“As tempting as it can be some days... You need sleep. Not punch-induced unconsciousness.”

“That’s tough, detective Powell.” He pouted, looking so much like a child that Dani had to force down the want to rub her knuckles on his skull like she used to do to her cousins. 

Instead, she crossed her arms and looked expectantly at him. He sighed and obeyed her silent comment, dragging his feet to his bed with part sulkiness and part exhaustion.

He let himself fall on it with a soft groan and stayed unmoving. She thought he might have fallen asleep already and pushed herself up. She knew better than to let him sleep unrestrained after what he had just lived through.

Silently, she crossed the room and reached for the fallen restrain at her feet.

She hadn’t lied to him, she had seen weirder stuff than that, especially during her time undercover, but it still felt very wrong to have to virtually chain a person to their bed to sleep.

She wondered how it must feel to sleep like that. 

She probably wouldn’t be able to. She always slept in the weirdest positions, often waking twisted in her covers.

Sitting on the side of the bed, she reached for Malcolm’s closest wrist. He opened one bleary eye at her, clearly more than half asleep already.

“You don’t have to do this.” He mumbled, words barely discernable.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. Wouldn’t want you to jump out of your window or something.”

“Already happened.” He replied, eye closing again as he settles more comfortably on the covers.

“What...”

But she interrupted herself. Malcolm was clearly already sleeping, breathe deep and heavy, tense muscles finally relaxing under her hands as she finished buckling the strap. 

She quickly moved on the other side of the bed, awkwardly managing to bind his other wrist and hoping it would be as comfortable as possible.

Finally, she  placed her hand on his neck like she had seen Gil do many times.

“Sleep well Malcolm.” She whispered to him, wishing the night terrors would let him sleep for once.

* * *

When Dani woke to frightened whimpers, she felt immediately both wide awake and very confused. Her brain took some time to recognize her surroundings. Enough for the whimpers to turn to full on, heart-wrenching, screams.

“Bright!” She said, jumping from the couch she had been on.

She remembered wanting to go home... Had she fallen asleep putting her shoes on?

Another scream erased the question from her mind and she ran to the other side of the room, helplessly watching as her friend wrestled with his restrains, leather snapping loudly, making her jerk.

She wished there was anything she could do. But the profiler was moving too much and too unpredictably for her to try to get close. The restrains wouldn’t stop him from accidently hitting her if she was too close.

It was torture to watch. It made her gut twist painfully. 

“Bright! You’ve got to wake up! Bright!”

It had no effect. He was clearly lost in his own mind. Trapped and obviously terrified. Her heart beat wildly, hands rubbing anxiously together.

It felt as if the episode lasted forever.

But just as suddenly as it had started, Malcolm jerked up with a last, very loud, shriek.

Dani was next to him in a blink, sitting on the bed, hugging his trembling frame to her chest. She heard his whimpers and erratic breathes, feeling him struggle under her hands.

“It’s okay Bright, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare. Nothing more. Just a nightmare.” She told him, rubbing his back.

But then she realized he wasn’t struggling against her hold but against the still attached cuffs.

She hurriedly pulled back and his shaking hands struggled with the quick-release.

“Here, let me...”

Gently but quickly she freed him and he reached for her again, putting his arms around her and squeezing.

Dani was surprised. Malcolm wasn’t usually one to initiate contact. But she didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him, rubbing his back again.

“Okay... Okay. You’re okay...”

They stayed like that for a long time as Malcolm’s breathing and heartrate slowly returned to normal. He pulled back and didn’t look at her, shiny eyes firmly rooted on the covers.

“I’m sorry... I...” His voice was rough and Dani winced in sympathy.

“It’s fine.”

He only looked ashamed and pushed himself up, padding to his kitchen for a glass of water. She noticed how badly his hand was shaking.

“Bright...” She started but had no idea what to say.

He shook his head, keeping his head bowed and clenching his fist.

Dani didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how she could help. It was breaking her heart.

“You should go home.” Bright finally said after a long time.

Dani frowned, she could still see exactly how shaken he was.

“I can stay. I don’t mind. We could watch a movie or something...”

Malcolm give her a small smile, his sad, resigned one. The same one she saw on his face when he told her he was broken, right before he was kidnapped.

“I appreciate the thought, Dani. But you should get some proper rest.”

“Bright...”

“Dani, please.” He interrupted her protests and he sounded so... Empty that she just wanted to protest even more.

But she also knew that in his shoes, she would want to be alone too.

She sighed, shoulders dropping.

“Okay. Okay. But you have to promise me you’ll call me. If you need anything. At all.”

She kept her eyes fixed on him. She wouldn’t move without his answer.

“Yeah. Of course.”

And if that didn’t sound like a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, this was me indulging my love for Sunshine. I just needed that. 
> 
> I hope I will hear from you :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!
> 
> So here is Chapter 7 (and how did that even happen????)!
> 
> I admit it's not my favourite but it was needed sooo... But I still hope you'll like it!!!
> 
> Don't hesitate to share your thoughts! I aim to get better :)
> 
> As ever, take care of yourselves!

Watching Dani put her shoes on and leave was tearing Malcolm apart.

But he had asked for it. He knew he had to.

He had almost taken his words back half a dozen times. But ultimately hadn’t.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want her there. It had been such a relief to have someone to cling to when he had woken with images of a dying Gil mixing with the one of Endicott bloody body on his retinas.

It had been comfort like no other.

But shame had almost immediately followed. 

It had been the second time in less than a day that he had broken  down in front of Dani and he was sick and tired of it. 

He was tired of his weakness.

Tired of not being normal.

Tired of his life.

He didn’t want Dani to be any more involved in it that she already was.

He knew she didn’t care about any of it. Not the night terrors or the manic craziness of his.

But she didn’t deserve it.

She didn’t deserve to have to take care of his fractured self.

Nor did she deserve the risk that came with being close to him or his family.

The still looming ghost of his dead girlfriend was proof enough of it.

Eve should have stayed as far away from any Whitly as she could even if it meant never finding her sister.

Too many lives had been destroyed because of their obsession with the past.

The Girl in the Box should have stayed in his nightmares. For everyone’s sake.

He sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck. Sunshine landed in front of him.

“What are we going to do now Sunshine?” He asked her, even if he knew she wouldn’t have the answer he despairingly needed. No one did.

His mind flashed back to the night of his father’ arrest, when he had felt the same kind of despair, when it felt like his whole world had been turned around and nothing would never be okay again.

In his mind’s eye, he saw a younger Gil offering him a candy and promising everything would be okay with enough  conviction that he believed him.

But today, there wouldn’t be any sugary treat or smiling Gil.

Because Gil had dared to take care of the son of a serial killer and that had  led to being barely alive on  a hospital bed.

Guilt surged back in him.

He should have been there to watch over and protect his mother. Not a wild ghost chase in the middle of nowhere.

Just like he should have been the one to kill Endicott.

The shrill sound of his phone interrupted his thoughts and he noticed the sun had gone up, basking his loft in yellow light. The unknown number made him shudder. The last time he had answered such a number...

He swept his thumb to pick up before he could convince himself otherwise. It could be the hospital.

‘Yes.” He answered breathlessly, heart beating too fast.

“Mr. Whitly? Arthur Lawson law office. We were told to contact you regarding Ainsley Whitly’s defense? I hope it’s not a bad time?”

The nausea that had risen at being called by his birth name threatened to  overwhelm him and he had to swallow hard before finding his voice.

“No, it’s... It’s  okay .”

“Good. Would you be available sometime today?  Mister Lawson  would like to hear your testimony as quickly as possible in order to prepare for your sister’s court hearing tomorrow.”

Malcolm’s blood froze in his veins.

His sister would face a judge tomorrow.

A judge that would decide to release her on bail or not.

“Sir?”

He realized he had been silent for too long.

“Yes, yes. Of course. I can be there in an hour.”

“That would be perfect. Thank you.” She provided him with the  address .

Malcolm hang up but didn’t move.

What should he tell the lawyer? It wasn’t the same as his so Malcolm could only hope his mother had selected a firm with absolutely no link to Endicott. But still...

He knew what the body looked like. A clear overkill. Yet he knew his sister hadn’t been aware of her action. At least not completely.

_ Or did she _ , a  treacherous voice asked.

Malcolm silenced it.

He wouldn’t think like that.

He had studied psychology. He had seen the signs of  a dissociative fugue.

Be he also knew people could easily be manipulated, even without realizing it.

He shook his head as if it could expel the nagging doubt and decided to concentrate on what he had to do.

Get dressed. Get Sunshine back in her cage. Talk to Ainsley’s lawyer.

* * *

The Uber driver stopped in front of a small building in a part of the city Malcolm had never visited. He almost asked the driver if he was sure where they were before he saw the brass sign near the front door.

He thanked the driver and went out, pushing his ever-shaking hand deep in his coat’s pocket.

“Mr. Whitly. Thank you for coming so fast.” The kind-looking, grey-haired, secretary greeted him as he entered. He had to resist the urge to correct her on his name. In this situation, he probably needed to be a Whitly. “Mr. Lawson will receive you shortly. Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”

Malcolm shook his head, still feeling too sick to even think about consuming anything. He sat down in one of the waiting  chairs only because he would look too weird hovering in the corridor.

“ Mr Whitly?”

Malcolm looked up to find a young man standing in front of him, his blond hair cut short and bags under his eyes. The profiler stood up.

“I’m Arthur Lawson, your sister’s lawyer.”

Malcolm shook the offered hand, unsettled at the lawyer’s appearance. It was a long way from her mother’s usual choices.

“Let’s go to my office.”

He turned towards the end of the corridor and entered a sun-filled office. He waited for Malcolm to enter and firmly closed the door.

“I don’t mean to be rude.” Malcolm said as he sat down on a creaking chair, keeping his coat on. “But you don’t look like the lawyers I’m used in my family.”

The man in front of him smiled, obviously having expected this.

“Indeed. Your sister contacted me personally some weeks ago. She was doing research and we both had... A shared interest.”

“Nicholas Endicott.” Malcolm deduced. He knew his sister had been investigating him. And, despite how much he didn’t like  admitting it to her, she was a damn good investigator.

“Indeed. I have been... Suspicious of Mr. Endicott’s  activities for a very long time. But when you’re just a low lawyer like myself, there is unfortunately not much I could do.”

Malcolm hummed, still wary of trusting anyone that he didn’t already know. The lawyer seemed to notice his reluctance.

“Look. I know you and your sister’s situation are.... Difficult... And that you have every reason to distrust me. But I can assure you I aim only at getting her the best sentence possible.”

Malcolm deflated. He was being unfair. He could see that the man was honest. And if Ainsly trusted him than so should he. He sighed.

“What can I do?”

The lawyer let out a small smile and nodded.

“Let’s start with the beginning. Tell me your side of the story.”

Malcolm snorted.

“How long do you have?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was still okay!
> 
> Stay safe!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii!
> 
> Okay, first thing first, so sorry for the time this chapter took to arrive. Really. But I tried to make it as good as possible. And I hope it is!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! And commenting!
> 
> As always, keep safe!

One month.

Thirty full days and nights.

That’s how long Dani had spent without a word from Malcolm.

Not a phone call, not a text, not a random visit at the precinct, nothing.

And it wasn’t for lack of trying on her side. She had tried calling him at all times of the day and night (because she just knew he wouldn’t be sleeping and hoped to catch him  unaware ).

She had sent him countless texts. From short “Hello” or “How are you?” to longer texts about their current cases or complaining about this or that or downright invitations to share tea. Even JT had tried his own set of texts, mostly updates about Tally’s pregnancy. He got no answer either.

After the first two weeks of radio silence she even tried dropping at his loft and ringing the bell several times in the hope it would annoy him enough that he’d at least just tell her to go away.

But, no, not even that worked. 

She wanted to scream at him. 

And then she wanted to hug him.

She could only guess what his disappearance act meant. And nothing she was thinking was good. 

Malcolm had told her himself that it was no good for him to be alone with his thoughts for too long.

She had spent two weeks debating whether she should broach the subject of Malcolm non-communication with Gil.

The first two weeks after the dreadful night he got stabbed it was easy not to think about it. Gil had been unconscious for one and then another too weak to entertain her and JT for more  than a couple of minutes before falling asleep  so there simply was no time to even talk about their young profiler. 

Those two first weeks had been terrifying, and she could admit she would have liked to have Malcolm’s presence next to her. He had proven he somehow knew how to ground  her, and she wish he could have done it again as she struggled with both her worry about Gil and the immense workload created by Endicott’s reveal and demise.

The two weeks after that, Gil had started to finally get better and alert enough to hold a full conversation. JT and her filled him in the state of both their enquiries on Endicott’s corruption and his death. 

It had been clear from his pained expression that he had known some of their information  already, but they didn’t ask how. Dani hoped it was through Malcolm, but she knew it was more probably through the profiler's mother.

She had frequently been there when Dani came to visit but always made herself scarce to let Gil and her talk. Whether it was due to dislike for arresting both her children or out of  politeness Dani didn’t know. And she was not sure she wanted to.

But it had been four weeks and Dani just had to make sure Bright was okay so if the man wouldn’t answer her himself, she would go through his father figure. She was almost certain that if he communicated with no one else he would at least communicate with him.

How wrong she had been.

The question had barely left her lips that she knew he hadn’t heard from Malcolm either.

His lips twisted and his eyes filled with worry and pain that had nothing to do with the still healing wound in his gut.

“I.... I haven’t seen him either, Dani.” He admitted, guilt easy to hear in his tone. “He didn’t answer my phone calls... He texted back he was okay and to get well...”

He obviously did not believe a word of it. It made Dani’s gut twist in worry even more.

“What about Mrs. Whitly? “ 

Gil sighed deeply, hand going to his stomach with a grimace.

“Even worse. They had one of their epic fights and are not talking to each other... But she has sent a house cleaner to his loft so...”

He let the sentence hang and Dani shuddered at the implication.

Silence fell for a moment as both thought of the young man currently hiding  in his flat, shutting the world out.

“I need you to do something Dani.” Gil finally said, a new resolve shining in his eyes. “I’ve got a key to Malcolm’s flat on my keyring. I need you to go there and make sure he is really okay.”

Dani was already nodding before he even finished his sentence. It all honesty, she had been about ready to break into his building anyway. So at least now she wouldn’t have to break the door a second time.

“I have to warn you though. He is not going to take it well.”

“I know...” Dani started, thinking back to the coldness in his eyes he told her to leave a month ago. 

“No Dani... Malcolm... He... When he suffers, he... He doesn’t like people to see him like that. Never had. He was already like that when he was just a child...”

He interrupted himself, eyes lost in his memories.

“After his father was arrested, he didn’t talk for months and even after that Jackie and I had the hardest time to him out of his shell. He just wanted to hide away but we all know that he shouldn’t be.”

Dani nodded, imagining what a traumatized child Bright had looked like.

She definitely didn’t want a repeat of that.

* * *

It was raining by the time Dani parked in front of Malcolm’s building and the bleak atmosphere resonated with the twisting anxiety in her gut.

Gil’s story hadn’t been surprising per say but it still had been worrying. 

She ran on the pavement, trying to stop her brain from imagining every  worst-case scenario  possible . 

She fumbled only slightly with the building’s lock and was relieved when she finally was out of the rain.

She took a deep breathe, preparing herself for what would greet her. Whatever it was, she wouldn’t back down. 

While climbing the stairs she debated whether to knock or simply barge in. Knocking would be the polite thing to do but she knew it would probably be ignored and would end up in her using the key in her hand anyway.

So, with resolve, she put the key in the lock and pushed the newly repaired door open.

She was greeted by Sunshine’s soft chirps.

“Bright?” She called out, taking her shoes off, trying to hear anything outside the bird.

A glance at her cage showed fresh food and water which was at least a good sign. Dani hadn’t believed his mother when she told her Malcolm could barely take care of his bird. She knew how important the animal was.

“Hello Sunshine.” She greeted before walking further into the loft.

She was barely two steps in before she stopped short. The whole place looked like a paper bomb had exploded. Piles of files were literally on every surface from the dining table to the sofas and the kitchen counter.

“What the hell happened here?” She exclaimed, shocked to see such a mess in the usually pristine loft.

She saw Bright jump from where he had been sitting on the floor, surrounded by even more paper.

He was dressed in casual clothes that were so creased that she wondered when he last changed them.

He turned towards her and she noticed immediately that, while he had always been... Slender, now he looked sickly thin, bones visible on his wrists, just below dark bruises.

He clearly had lost weight and from the size and darkness of the bags under his eyes as well as the bruises she could tell sleep had more than eluded him.

“Dani?” He asked, brows creased in confusion. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

His voice was low and raspy, his eyes guarded. For a moment, she was at a loss of what to say. There were just too many concerns at one time and her mind struggled to catch up.

“Oh yes, of course, Gil.” He answered his own question. “Well you can tell him to stop worrying. I am fine.”

And while he sounded  pretty convincing , she was standing right in front of him. She was seeing his shaking hands and his frail exhausted frame. He could try to convince himself and others he was fine as much as he wanted to, the truth was, he wasn’t.

Or maybe he was believing it. Or believing he didn’t get to be anything but fine giving the circumstances. She didn’t know and she didn’t care. 

“I don’t believe you.” She said, crossing her arms.

Malcolm’s eyes darkened.

“Oh yes, that’s your thing isn’t it?”

Well, that hurt. But Dani knew it was his strategy to try to make her leave. Gil had warned her. And she wasn’t going to back down.

“We’ve been over this. I am sorry for mistrusting you and I wish I could go back in time and not do it. But, in the end, I am a cop and I was doing my job and I know you understand that.” She said, taking a couple of steps further into the room, clearly signifying she was staying.

Malcolm stood his ground and crossed his arms. She could see he wanted to protest but even he couldn’t say anything against her argument without it being a more than obvious lie. Dani let the silence surround them for a moment as she surveilled their surroundings and the profiler.

If she had thought that he had looked bad a month ago... Well, now it was even worst. And she hadn’t thought it could be possible. She should have come sooner, she berated herself. She should have knocked his door down weeks ago. Hell, she should have  insisted after the first unanswered text.

She squared her shoulders, forcing herself to uncross her arms. She knew that direct confrontation would not help.

“So, what are you up to?” She asked instead, nodding towards the obscene amount of papers around them.

The profiler looked like he wouldn’t answer but then he deflated, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“I... Hum... I am looking into old cases...”

“Yes, I could have guessed that.” She approached the closest pile. She didn’t recognize any names on it. “Why?”

“You know I don’t deal well with inactivity. And I can’t really go back to the precinct, can I?”

Dani sighed. She wished she could deny that. But it was right that with all the gossip still going around the various floor of the building, it wouldn’t be the best place for him. Policemen and women really were really no better than schoolkids sometimes. And the latest Whitly drama was just too good to miss out, especially as one as peculiar as their profiler was involved.

“What about all those cases, then? What’s the link?”

He seemed uncomfortable with the question, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Bright?” She prompted as he didn’t answer.

“We... I... Think that Endicott may have had a hand in all of those...” He mumbled.

Dani looked around her again. Judging by the sheer  number of files it must have been at least fifty cases. She had been the one to receive Sophie’s testament so she knew that Endicott’s control would go far but she had had to give up the case to the FBI once its magnitude had started to be too much for even Major Crimes to handle.

She didn’t know what to say.

How many people had suffered the consequences of Endicott’s manipulations? How many people had, like Malcolm, been wrongfully accused of a crime? How many  families had been destroyed by lies?

She looked back up at the profiler again.  It hit her.

He was feeling guilty for all of these and this  was his penance. 

Just like during their first case. He had been willing to inject himself with drugs that would have killed him in an incredibly painful way. And now he was willing to lose his sanity and health to review cold cases. To make absolutely sure the right person has been sentenced. To give closure to loved ones. She bit her lips.

“ Malcolm ...”

“I know what you are going to say.” He interrupted, recrossing his arms to hide his shaking hands. “But all those people deserve to know what really happened.”

“The FBI...”

“The Bureau doesn’t care for those cases. They are old and don’t involve  _ important _ people.”

She sighed. While it was really unfair, he was right. 

It didn’t mean she’ll let him carry on like that. He was clearly  at the end of his rope.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll make you a deal then. You’re going to take a break. Eat. Sleep. Visit Gil. And I will help you with those.”

“I don’t need a break. I’m fine.”

_ God he was stubborn _ , Dani thought  exasperatingly .

“When’s the last time you’ve slept? Or eaten anything that wasn’t composed of only sugar?”

He didn’t answer. She didn’t need him to.

“That’s what I thought. So,  _ please,  _ just do this, okay Malcolm? For me?”

Silence stretched for a full minute before the profiler sighed, shoulders dropping. She didn’t know what had convinced  him, but she was glad something had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like that? I'm not sure it lived up to expectations here....
> 
> But anyway, I have not yet started next chapter so... Bear with me? Please?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo.... Hi?
> 
> I am sooo sorry this took so long! Real life is really being super hard on me and my schedule!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you will like this chapter. I am wondering if this could be a good place to stop it.... So I guess I'm waiting for your input there...
> 
> Stay safe my dears!

Four weeks.

Well, almost.

Four weeks Malcolm has spent compiling and studying files.

Cold cases and already closed ones.

Reviewing, verifying, comparing. An endless work where he kept finding mor or less obvious deceptions and mistakes.

Sometimes he could barely believe the sheer number of cases Endicott had touched.  And he was only dealing with the ones that didn’t interest the Bureau. The ones without any “Very Important” people involved.

It made Malcolm sick.

Every case was important.

He knew first-hand what it felt like to be framed for something he didn’t do.  So if he could save only one person from a wrongful  imprisonment, he would.

He just hadn’t imagined it would be that many people.

He kept wondering how it had been possible.

How no one had known or said anything.

_ But someone had _ , his mind supplied.

His own father had known what kind of man Endicott was.

And he had said nothing. Worst, he had benefitted from it.

Malcolm hadn’t thought he could have felt worst about his father. But there he was, feeling even more disgusted with him. And himself.

He forced himself to stay focused on his work. There would be plenty of time for self-hate later on.

He knew it was a bad idea. But he also knew it was easier to focus on this then facing the rest of his problems. Serial killer father, interned sister or resentful mother.

At least those people he could help. The rest... Well... It would have to wait.

He should have guessed, however, that he shouldn’t have ignored his phone and increasingly high number of text messages and calls.

He thought he really should have expected something like that to happen as he turned to face Dani, arms crossed.

If he was honest, he didn’t know what he felt about her presence, his emotions too contradictory to make any sense. He wanted to be left alone but he also was deeply touched that she would come all this way to check on him. But he also didn’t want her to interrupt him. But he appreciated her worry.

He settled on staying neutral, watching her as she observed him and his living space. He fought not to fidget. He knew it was all far from his usual put together look but he just couldn’t get himself to care. And he had told his mother’s housekeeper off, telling her to have the morning off and giving her money to get her off his back. He kind of regretted it now.

He tried to hide what he was really doing but, of course, Dani was just too intelligent to be fooled and he found himself telling her on what exactly he was working on.

He expected her to be mad at him as it looked a bit like he was doing the NYPD’s job but she surprised him by offering her help.

Well, bargaining it more than offer. But he couldn’t really refuse it without being a total jerk. Which he was not. Well, not always.

Especially as she looked honestly concerned for him... And used his first name.

He sighed deeply. He supposed he could do with a break. 

“Good.” Dani smiled at him and it. “Now, how about you go take a shower and I’ll find something to cook.”

“You don’t have to.” He protested; he didn’t want Dani to do even more for him. “You can just order in, I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s not a problem. Or are you worried I am such a bad cook?”

“What? No! Of course not!” He was flustered, mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to not offend her any more.

He finally noticed the mischief in her eyes.

“Oh. You were teasing me.”

“Honestly, Malcolm. This was too easy.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and turned away, walking towards his shower, smiling a bit at the laugh that followed him.

He hadn’t quite realized how good it was to interact with someone. Sure, he had had meetings with Ainsley’s lawyer in the past weeks and had occasionally gone to see his sister (which he didn’t even want to think back on) or people involved int the cases he would be working on. 

But all those were nothing compared to talking to someone who had only your best interest at heart.

* * *

When he exited his bathroom a solid half an hour later, he was greeted by the smell of food.

His stomach grumbled and he suddenly realized he really couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten a proper meal. Most of the time he just couldn’t be bothered. And with how much of a mess his current life was, cooking just didn’t attract him.

“It smells delicious.” He commented, coming around the counter to peer into the simmering pot Dani was  stirring .

“Mushroom risotto. It will be ready any minute.”

“Fancy. I didn't know I had the ingredients for that.”

He took two plates out and put them next to the stove.

“You didn’t. But that’s what shops are for. You should really try them sometimes.”

He gaped at he. It was already too much that she was cooking for him and now he learned that she had had to go shopping for it.

“You really shouldn’t have bothered Dani. You could have just ordered in.”

He could feel his blush and hurriedly turned away to take water out of the fridge.

“I don’t mind. I like cooking for people. It always feels kind of a waste to cook just for myself.

A reflective silence fell in the room as Malcolm tried to wrap his mind around the fact that Dani was cooking him a proper dinner.

“There you are, all ready.” She announced, a few minutes later, dishing out the pot’s contents into the two waiting plates, a thin aromatic smoke trailing in the air.

She brought the plates to the counter and sat down, gesturing at Malcolm to get set. He did so and took a deep inhale.

“It really smells delicious.”

“Well try it and tell me how it tastes.”

She was obviously waiting for him to start eating so he didn’t lose any time to tuck in. His eyes widened slightly. He wouldn’t have expected Dani to be such a good cook. Especially with that little time to work.

“So...?”

She looked nervous.

“This is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.” He answered  genuinely .

Dani blushed, her cheeks darkening.

“Stop it! You’re used to home-Chef meals and fancy restaurants. This is nowhere close.”

“Not at all! Really Dani!”

She shook her head but he saw she believed him. And he was too busy eating to argue more.

They ate in silence, both glad to have some food in their stomach and companionship.

It was only as they were cleaning out the table that Dani broke the silence.

“So... Do you have any news from Ainsley?”

Malcolm’s hand started trembling at his side and he clenched it. He knew she wasn’t trying to pry but just to help.

“She’s in a psychiatric ward. She’s still being assessed... But her lawyer says it’s a good thing...”

“And what do you say?” Dani asked, her eyes observing him carefully.

He shrugged.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Part of me wants to believe it was a momentary reaction to the stress we were under at the time... But...”

He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t want to think about the possibility that his little sister was more like his father than anyone would have thought.

Dani’s hand on his arm shook him from his mind.

“Come on. I think the next item on the list was rest.”

He appreciated that she didn’t offer any reassurances on Ainsley’s state of mind. The harsh truth was  that no one knew what that was. Maybe not even Ainsley herself.

“Sleeping does not really agree with me those days...” Malcolm explained hoping that he could  just get out of that one.

“That’s why I didn’t say sleep. I said rest. I’m sure we can find something to watch on that insanely big TV of yours that would relax both of us.”

Malcolm shook his head. He might never know what he did to get a friend, a partner, like Dani. But whatever it was, he was really glad he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was this? Does it feel like an ending?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, what do you think?
> 
> Another chapter is almost finished and there might be more after that. We'll see!
> 
> As ever thank you for reading, and keep safe!


End file.
